


sunrise

by brightclam



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Drug Addiction, Gen, izzy fans don't whine at me i don't care, past abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 05:33:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14301870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightclam/pseuds/brightclam
Summary: Raphael may be a monster but Isabelle is still a hypocrite.





	sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> *me, banging pots and pans* rizzy is disgusting and I hate this new episode!!!!

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Isabelle stands, tears like oil slicks down her cheeks, and Raphael is suffocating in her. He’s tried to wash her off his skin every time he’s stood in the elegant shower of the Dumort suite. He’s used bottle after of bottle of his best soap, but her blood has stayed thrumming under his skin instead of washing down the drain. She makes his fags burn in his gums and his mind ache with need.

 

He’s crying too, and he doesn’t know who he’s mourning; his sister, or himself. This shadowhunter has him wrapped up in her hungry eyes and yin-fen mouth. He’s crying and wants to be free of her almost as much as he had wanted to be free of the chains on the roof. For a moment, he wonders whether the burning sun would have been more welcoming than her grasping hands, but once again she’s taken choice away from him.

 

Her curling voice lashes out at him, laced with Shadowhunter assurance and disappointment. He wants to ask her if she’d ever hated herself before she got addicted to him; he wants to ask what it feels like to live without your monsterhood weighing down your shoulders. But he says nothing as she claws at him with her false sweet voice:

 

“So you decided to torture someone so you could have a better life?”

 

He says nothing about how his family could walk free again; how he could free them from their helpless daydreams. How they could visit graves of hospitals, how they could see the sun rise or their grandchildren being born. He says nothing because he knows his family means nothing to her.

 

He says nothing about how she kissed Meliorn to pry his secrets from his helpless throat with her tongue. He says nothing of how she saved him from the sword only to kiss him with the cuffs still around his wrists. He says nothing about how caging a bird to love it is still torturing it. He says nothing because he knows meliron means nothing to her.

 

He says nothing about how she took her need and used it hollow him out; how he choked on her syrupy blood and had to comfort her afterwards. He says nothing about how he still feels like he is nothing without his fangs in her arm, how his world narrows to nothing but the shadowhunter blood in her veins. He says nothing about how he couldn’t even mourn Rosa without the withdrawal making him convulse with cravings. He says nothing about how she used him so thoroughly and still believes she loves him.

 

“I thought I knew you.”

 

He wants to ask her what part of him she thinks she knows; is it his fangs? His gums? His lips? His hands that shook as he held her arm still? She knows parts of him, but to think to know him is a gross presumption befitting a shadowhunter.

 

He says nothing because he knows he means nothing to her.

 

She leaves and he aches to go after her and embrace her with his fangs. He pushes the need down with the shaking disgust that consumes his conscious. He thinks of who he will appoint as the new clan leader, what he needs to pack, if he’ll still be able to see Meliorn when he’s out of the city.

 

He thinks of never seeing Isabelle again and it feels like watching the sunrise.

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End file.
